The Real Lima Loser
by sarah-hart
Summary: What if Quinn had died after childbirth? A tragic oneshot of how Puck continues life without her there, his only memory of her his own daughter. 'Noah Puckerman never left Lima, Ohio. His soul wouldn't allow him to. They would be together someday.'


**6 YEARS AGO**

**13:30**

Noah felt his stomach turn over inside him as Mike Chang dropped the news - Quinn's water had broken.

Life was a blur as he was shoved into her mom's car and they sped off to the hospital. The rest of the club followed behind in the team bus. They didn't have time to waste.

He was silent for the entire car ride as Quinn's mother fussed and apologised for all her wrong-doing in the past.

As Puck watched Quinn struggle and scream in some kind of unimaginable pain, he wished that he could apologise and everything would be normal again. He wished that he could take it all back and not have to hurt her anymore.

But he knew that he could wish for it all he liked and it still wouldn't come. He'd made his bed and now he would have to lie in it.

**14:45**

A beautiful baby girl was born.

She was enchanting - absolutely breathtaking. Puck had never imagined what his child would look like before. He'd always been so caught up in his high school way of life that it had never occurred to him that he may very well be a father one day.

That day had came sooner than he had expected but nevertheless, he loved that child.

_Beth._ His mouth curved the name as if it were engraved into his soul. A name that he'd though about for so many weeks now and it fit perfectly. She didn't look like a Mia, or an Ashley, or even a Louise.

She was Beth and she was always going to be Beth. Beth.

But she was beautiful as well - Quinn Fabray. Previous queen bee and captain of the Cheerios… current member of Glee club and teen mom.

She was so brave, so headstrong. She took it all on the chin and she didn't care what people thought of her - not even him. Especially not him and that's what mesmerised him so much about her.

Although she may have been hot and sweaty and sticky, she was still flawless to him because she was Quinn and he was Puck. They were Quinn and Puck. They were always destined to be together. They were _supposed_ to be together.

**15:05**

He was sure that God was playing him.

If this was some kind of sick joke, he wasn't happy with it. And he didn't find it amusing at all.

Noah was rushed out of the hospital room, furious that he not been able to hold his child yet. _It's okay,_ he told himself, _I can hold her later. I can tell Quinn that I love her and everything will be alright._

He sat in that waiting room for too long. He was too afraid to count how long, but he was still sure that it was _too_ long.

It dawned on him - he might be loosing her today and he wouldn't even have the chance to say goodbye.

People came and went - the news came in that New Directions came in last at Regionals. He told himself that it was no big deal. He would deal with the consequences later. Glee was over but it didn't matter if he didn't have her anyway. Loosing one more thing. How bad could that be if he didn't have her?

Quinn's family members arrived and paced frantically around the room. His mom called numerous times and he ignored every one. He received many texts of congratulations and pats on the backs.

But he didn't feel as if he should be congratulated. He felt as if it should've been her, as she had been the one who had lost everything while he just stood by and lost.

And when the doctor dropped the bomb, he suddenly knew how that felt and he was sorry he'd ever touched her.

"We're sorry for your loss," didn't apply to him anymore because he'd realised that when people said they were sorry, they didn't really mean it. They could pity you all they liked but they would never know what it was actually like until they experienced it and Noah would never wish that on anyone. Not now that he'd felt it.

The doctor nodded and apologised once again and then left to his duties. Puck stayed where he was.

Mercedes left to go and spread the news to the other Glee kids. Puck stayed where he was.

Quinn's family members mourned and cried around various parts of the building. Puck never left his seat.

He sat right there - leaning forward with his head in his hands - and he cried. He cried for the first time in what seemed like his entire life.

Puck had cried when his dad had left them. He was a Lima loser. Puck swore to himself that he would never be a Lima loser. He promised himself that he would be a good father, one that took care of his children and gave them all the attention and affection that they needed. Now he felt as if that promise was slipping through his fingers like sand.

No one could remember how long Puck remained in that seat and poured his heart into his tears. He didn't let anyone come near or try to comfort him. He pushed them away, all of them. What did they know? They didn't love Quinn like he did.

He pulled the ring box from his jean pocket, wiping away the saline droplets falling down his face. He opened it, almost admiring the ring he planned on giving her. If only he could have seen it on her fingers, just once. If only he could've heard her voice one last time.

**22:30**

It felt strange when Puck finally spoke to the hospital staff. His mouth was dry because there was nothing to say. His throat burned from all the tears. His words couldn't sum up his emotions. It was a struggle just to breathe.

"I want to keep her." he choked as he looked at his baby girl through the glass window, all bundled up in a pink blanket. She looked just like her mother. "And I'm going to call her Beth."

He heard murmurs of unfamiliar voices warning him that the road of a single parent was no easy one, especially since he had no qualifications and lived in just about the most unemployed area in Ohio. But he ignored them all.

He held Beth for the first time. She was warm, like Quinn had been. She felt right in his arms, like she was supposed to way. He knew that he couldn't turn his back on her now.

"Beth Puckerman." he whispered with a small smile.

Then he stopped, his breath hitching slightly. He didn't want to call her under the name _Puckerman_. So, when he signed all the papers and made everything legal he made sure that he did it right.

Fabray was the name on the birth certificate, like her mothers. "Beth Fabray." he nodded approvingly as he rocked his small child in his arms, "Just as it was supposed to be."

* * *

**THEN ONWARDS**

The day of her funeral arrived.

He didn't stand up and say anything. In fact he kept as low as a profile as possible, his presence barely noticeable. It was such a small town that practically everyone was showed up to mourn over her in her glass coffin.

But they never really were mourning. They were bowing their heads in prayer and whispering apologies to her family, but they were never mourning. That was his job.

He didn't want any of his class mates to see him cry and he hoped they didn't. To this day, he still isn't sure. He avoided all of them throughout the whole ceremony. His throat was too dry to speak.

The colour was fading from his life and fast.

* * *

Puck dropped out of school as soon as possible to raise his child. He left without saying goodbye to anyone in particular. He didn't want to see them crying when they didn't know what it felt like. Not to him anyway.

It was only that Mr. Schue had caught him at the reception that he got to bid his farewells.

"I wish you the best of luck, Noah." he nodded sincerely, the light catching his eye to reveal a small tear, lingering on the surface.

No one could forget that Beth had originally been due to Mr. Schue although he may not have knew it. Puck would never forget that and therefore he would always have a special link to that man. He thanked his Spanish and Glee teacher for all the wonderful times and great life lessons he'd taught him in the past and promised him that one day he would keep in touch.

* * *

He never did.

Over time, everything fades away. Nothing last forever. Not even people.

Love lasts forever though, Puck realised. He'd only experienced it once and it was an experience he would never forget and never live down either.

If someone asked him if he thought he'd screwed up his life, Puck wouldn't know what to say. Of course he regretted how everything went down but that's not to say that all of this happened to ruin him. There was a reason.

And that reason was for him to fall in love. To know what it felt like, to have a taste before it all demolished before his eyes, lit up in flames and left to burn to the ground. He'd lost everything he was ever going to have now that she was gone.

Apart from one thing, one person - Beth. He fondled the young baby dearly in his arms. His mother may not have been so pleased about his decision to keep her, but he was adamant. She was the only piece that he had left of _her_ so how could he let her go?

* * *

**PRESENT DAY**

Noah never left Lima, Ohio.

He stayed put, right where he was. Just like he had done the day that Beth was born - he remained in his seat, not only refusing to move but somehow unable. He wasn't capable of a life anywhere else.

From time to time he would run into old class mates, be it at the local supermarket or through his line of work. The small talk killed him. There was always a huge elephant in the room yet they were all too afraid to ask.

Sometimes they would be sly about it and ask 'how are you coping nowadays?' or 'what's life like for you?' clearly wistful to know of Beth.

But Puck never spoke of her. He told them of his work, how he'd taken up plumbing and worked extra time during the summers cleaning pools. That way, conversations couldn't escalate into feelings he couldn't explain. He was never out of his comfort zone.

Then he would go home to his darling daughter. He couldn't spoil her because he didn't earn too much but if he could, by God would he. He would buy her all the diamonds and pearls in the world, all the pretty dresses and dolls.

Of a weekend, they would sit on the sofa of their small living room and read a book together. Most of the time, these were fairytales - Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White. Pictures of beautiful young women with high cheek bones and long eyelashes.

Every so often though, Beth would ask him to tell her an original tale - one that wasn't in books or pictures. A true story, a love story.

Puck chuckled quietly, tucking a strand of golden blonde hair behind his daughter's ear. He admired her feminine complexion - she had the face of her mother. A slight tan to her skin, perfectly sculpted eyebrows and a petite build. Her eyes would change colour, just like _her's_. One day the would be the palest green, the next day the most unfathomable pools of chocolate brown.

Noah would sigh happily then and wrap an arm around the young girl before beginning the story.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl. She wasn't a princess but she was so breathtaking that sometimes people could mistake her for one and they would part like the red sea when she passed by. She was not only stunning but she was talented too. And she had a big future a head of her.

And there was a boy, just about her age. He used to admire her from a distance but he knew that he could never have her. And he couldn't have her because she already had a boyfriend who happened to be his best friend."

Beth was engrossed by the story, staring wide-eyed as she begged her father to continue.

"One day, this boy finally got his chance with his princess and he was so lucky that they even fell in love. But he ruined it by causing her some very big mistakes."

"What kind of mistakes, daddy?" Beth asked as she snuggled closer to him.

Puck hesitated. "All kinds of mistakes but that's not important. The princess was very angry at him for this, so she stayed away from him. She told him that she wanted nothing to do with him and the boy loved her so much that he did stay away.

"Unfortunately, it was too late for the princess. The boy had already ruined so many things for her that her boyfriend didn't want to be with her anymore and he left her. She was really, really sad."

Noah began to rock the young girl slowly in his arms.

"So when she was all by herself, the boy told her that he wanted to be with her and although she did love him, she refused. She said that he had already caused too many problems so it was impossible."

"But was it impossible?" Beth wondered out loud.

"Ah, you'll see." Puck joked with a small laugh, "Eventually, the princess came around and she told the boy that she loved him. They were going to be together and they were also going to have a beautiful baby girl."

"A baby?" Beth gasped with joy.

Puck nodded. "Yes, a baby." he reiterated with the same excitement, "And the boy was so happy that he even sang for his princess.

"And when their baby girl was born, he was so happy that he even cried and thanked God for this beautiful child."

There was a long pause.

"Is this a happy ending, daddy?" Beth asked curiously.

Puck swallowed a painful lump in the back of his throat. "In some ways, it is. Yeah." she sighed wistfully, "The princess and the boy could never be together after the baby girl was born for different reasons. Even though they couldn't be together, he always loved her. And he loved his baby girl too because she looked just like her mommy.

"And do you know what they called that baby girl?"

Noah waited for Beth to reply but no sound came from her mouth except from a gentle breathing in and out. She had fallen asleep in his arms.

He chuckled quietly, scooping her up into his arms and carrying her up the stairs. He lay her in her pink bed sheets and kissed her forehead goodnight.

"Beth," he whispered to finish his sentence, "_we _called her Beth."

A small tear managed to escape his eye, strolling down his cheek. He gulped and reluctantly looked away from young Beth.

He made his way downstairs and into the garden. He looked up at the stars and searched for the brightest one. He saw it, right in the middle of his vision and he knew she was out there somewhere and she was being taken care of.

Noah Puckerman never left Lima, Ohio. His soul wouldn't allow him to.

They would be together one day.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed that! It's a little different to anything I've ever written before so yes I am a little bit self conscious about it but I think I did a fairly okay job if I'm being fair to myself. I felt sad writing it haha :[ Thank you for reading! Feedback would be really nice!**


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